Power Tour

Hello, Charlotte, we’re inside you! Hmm, I really should rethink my choice of words, which is quite unfortunate, and not just because my mother’s name is Charlotte. Speaking of Mothers and Charlotte, our entire Mothers Polish squad is back for the 2019 Hot Rod Power Tour and we’re kicking things off at zMAX Dragway in picturesque Charlotte, North Carolina. Before I get this party started (don't make me raise the roof - I'm really, really tall), I feel like I should address the elephant in the room. No, not me, Jokey McJokerson, my big-boned stature is well within the health and safety standards for my height (did I mention how tall I am?). The metaphorical elephant to which I'm referring is my man main, one Shane Christman. Shane had a familial obligation to attend to, which rendered him unable to attend the Tour. And you know what, I'm not sad about it, not sad at all. I'M NOT CRYING, YOU'RE CRYING! I'm completely fine with this. In fact, do you hear that sound? Yeah, that's the sound of me not calling you, Shane! Now if you'll forgive me, I'd rather not discuss the matter further. Where was I? Oh yes, Charlotte and the 2019 Power Tour kickoff. Here's the part where I ask if you know how many Mothers it takes to put on a decal? All of them, except Shane because he bailed on us. I hate you Shane! Okay, I'm sorry, that was a momentary lapse. I'm fine, and I promise to respect the boundaries of Shane's overreactive restraining order going forward. This year on Tour, my new man main is none other than this wily veteran. A man who needs no introduction (okay, just a little one). Our VP at Mothers and a bad mother in his own right, Forrest Tosie. Our own Forrest has been on each and every Power Tour. All 25 of 'em. Just look at those steely eyes, that chiseled jaw, and don't even get me started on that O face. Almost makes me forget what's his name. Oh yeah, now I remember. I hate you, Shane! Okay, this time I mean it, I will no longer mention his name, starting... now. Of course, traffic rolling into zMAX was maxxed out. It got so bad that this fellah gave up and started walking. I did too, which wouldn't have been so bad had I not been driving at that point. Hey, Shane, I gave everyone involved in the resulting three-car pile up your card. I know you can no longer handle hanging on the Tour, but maybe you can handle these insurance claims. Can you at least do that for me, Shane? Looks like my big, fancy camera is no match for Weslia Echols' phone camera game. Girl, do me a favor, and send me that snap. Just don't tell Shane. I can't have him lording that over me. The line at our Mothers Big Rig was backed up all day and our crew of car care experts led by our own Jonathan Stone held things down with aplomb. I would have helped but I'm not entirely sure what aplomb means and judging from this dude's shirt, I thought the line was for Phish tickets. The biggest reason for the line of Phish fans was our limited edition Mothers on Tour shirt. The cost? A mere $10 for a standard issue shirt, or $100 if you wanted one infused with the musky essence of Jonathan. Our hard-working Big Rig crew was giving out bottles of our new Mothers Speed® Waterless Wash & Wax to all the Tour participants. You know, it's a simple-to-use, wax infused, no-rinse spray wash-saving you time and water. With this ultra-slick formula, dirt and debris are quickly and safely whisked away thanks to our specially formulated microencapsulation polymers, leaving you with a brilliantly shining, scratch-free finish. Mothers Speed® Waterless Wash & Wax is a convenient alternative to traditional washing, enhancing the clarity, depth and color, all while boosting your existing wax-giving you that “just waxed” look and feel. Cleans, shines and protects, anytime, anywhere! There, Forrest, I said it. Now, will you give me back the key to my hotel room? The Scraptona is all sorts of awesome. As is Weaver Customs' latest and greatest build. Vortex is a '53 Bel Air with an LSX 373 ci mill with siamese'd superchargers. What does that set up look like? A lot like this. Technically, it looks exactly like this. Well, that is to say, this is it. This 620hp ZZ572 from Modern Automotive is the most powerful street engine offered by Chevy Performance. The cost? A cool $16,045.00. Did I mention this price includes the air cleaner? So there's that. Ten-year old me would have so wanted this for my room, while 18-year old me would have wanted this as a tramp stamp (don't judge me, it was a phase). Today, I just want to get something like this on my personal mobility scooter. You know, to up my street cred. Dog dishes, side pipes, and hood scoops. Vega Nomad man is living his best Power Tour life. Hot Rod's Jacob Ross Davis traced the route of the very first Tour, going from the Petersen Museum in Los Angeles all the way to Charlotte in this Elky. To celebrate, here he is uploading a new dating app profile pic. This pic says, hello ladies, I'm a bit mischievous, but not altogether irresponsible, just like my El Camino. Roadkill's Mike Finnegan brought his 8-second Hemi-powered Blasphemi gasser to the party. I would venture to guess the golf cart shuttling him around zMAX was a fair bit slower. These events always prove to be quite challenging to get a clean shot. Thanks for ruining my pic of this guy in the green shirt, you lousy 427 Corvette. Who's a good boy! Who's the best boy ever! We're not gonna lick any strangers today, are we? No, we're not, because we're such a good boy! Oddly enough, I say the same exact thing in the mirror each morning. Okay, miss, I'm just going to come right out and say it. I will give you any amount of money if you tow me around each stop in this wagon, so I can get my snaps in with as little effort as ever. I'll even throw in an extra $10 for the floppy hat to help keep the sun off my sensitive skin. On second thought, this is all the set up I need. I'll just let the Tour come to me. Genius! And the ladies will just love the tan lines made by those white socks. Am I right, ladies? Hello? This guy was working hard to change his wheels for the drag strip. I had to give him a hand. Well, it was more like a slow clap, but that counts for something, right? So apparently Forrest is descended from pirates, or possibly someone who fell in with pirates. I'm not sure what etiquette calls for on Talk Like a Pirate Day. I can always count on my friends for a little pick-me-up during the Tour. I may be partially blind in one eye now, but it did pick me up. Totally worth it! I wanted to ask this guy for slug of whatever he has in his cooler/couch/scooter, but by the looks of it, that could be (a) moonshine, (b) beer or (c) Lactaid. Truth be told, I'm okay with any one alone or a combination of all three. At my age, I'm not picky. Go home, every other Power Tourer, our favorite Grumpy Welder has won it all already. Grumpy likes to say that his 6V92 Detroit 2 Stroke Diesel is not leaking oil, it's sweating horsepower. I like your style, Grumpy. New York tags, Pro Street hood, big meats out back. Yup, I'm pretty sure this Camaro used to kick my ass back in high school. This Power Tourer has his priorities straight. An entire trailer devoted to the cooler. Go home, Supra, you're drunk. Supra being Forrest's nickname for me. Peeked my head into this van and my hair instantly feathered. True story. Our own Jim Holloway took some passes down the drag strip in our new 755hp ZR1 3ZR. Such a sick piece of kit! Only six more Shane-free days and 1259 miles to go. Tomorrow we’ll be headed to the appropriately named Martinsville Raceway in Martinsville, Virginia, In the meantime, please enjoy our gallery of pics from the kickoff party here. John Naderi for Mothers® Polishes•Waxes•Cleaners facebook.com/mothersusa